Monday, August 19, 2013

Enjoying These Days


I have learned during the last few years, that during times of loss, you often gain an heightened ability to enjoy the special little moments in each day. When Philip's Mom died in February 2011 we had a big snow storm, and I remember having a moment of clarity during our family time playing in the snow. God is good all the time and He gives us joyful moments even in the midst of trials.





Ever since loosing Sam, I have been doing my best to enjoy all the sweet moments with my precious family. Levi and Joel are so full of life and excited about everything in God's creation from bugs, leaves and flowers in the yard to a big beautiful rainbow after a storm. Their enthusiasm in life has been such a blessing to me. Thankfully, the weather has been a little cooler these last few days and we have been enjoying time outside, which is always refreshing and rejuvenating to me. As well as soaking up the great outdoors, I have been just taking more time to play with my boys. They are so cute and funny and smart, and I am overwhelmed that God is allowing me to be their Mom! What a blessing (despite the tough, busy and stressful times).

double stack piggy back
little guy helping his big bro :)

undies, rain, scooters...thrilling!
I LOVE how these two love each other!
super silly boys drying off after playing in the rain
bath time silliness
TAG!
post nap snuggle induced snooze :)

Snow cone sugar rush!
I hope I can hang on to this grief-induced clarity. I hope I can continue to relish the simple, small joys of life and thank God for the "little blessings" he gives us every day. I'm not perfect, and I often forget to observe these blessings. I can dwell on my sadness at times as well. But, life sure is more fun when you take the time to really notice all those wonderful fleeting moments.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Flowers from Grandad

My sweet Grandad passed away about 5 years ago. At his funeral were several potted esperanza plants. Many of the family members took home the plants for their gardens and I was able to take one myself. We planted it next to our mail box and enjoy it's beautiful yellow blooms every summer. This year the blooms were late. I was wondering why they weren't showing up, when about 2 weeks ago it suddenly stated to flower. I like to think Grandad had a little something to do with that. He knew I would need something to brighten my day. When I saw the pretty yellow flowers I cried. Today I cut some for inside the house. Thanks Grandad. I miss you and love you.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Levi at age 4

Today Levi had his 4 year check up with the pediatrician. This exam had some firsts; vision & hearing screenings, blood pressure check and getting to keep all his clothes on (yay). Levi did well with both his vision and hearing screenings, but had a hard time not being silly, so he had to do both tests twice to make sure they were getting an accurate result. Everything is funny to this little man these days...which can be a little exhausting. He continues to meet or exceed all the milestones both physically and mentally for his age, for which we are very grateful. It is always refreshing to see how comfortable Levi is with his doctor and how relaxed and himself he is while the doctor talks with him. However, today that meant Levi showed off his snorting sounds, humongous high 5s and expert ability to make silly faces often during inappropriate times. Dr. D took it in stride and seemed to actually enjoy Levi's antics; thank goodness! This was his last appointment to receive vaccinations until he turns 12! He received 2 shots and although he cried for a moment and again told the nurse, "that was not very nice, that hurt my legs" he took them in stride and happily accepted his superman sticker for being a good patient. He sure is growing up before my eyes!


New Stats:
height - 42 inches (80%)
weight - 40.6 pounds (80%) this one surprised me because he is all muscle and is usually in the 50% range
Vital Signs: 97.3 temperature, 92 heart rate and 106/72 blood pressure (all "healthy normal" values for age)

Favorite Things:
-riding his bike or scooter
-coloring with side walk chalk
-being with his Daddy and "helping" with whatever he is doing or "participating" in some way
-playing with play dough
-watching movies (Veggie Tales and Cars are the current favorites)
-watching TV from the DVR (Curious George, Wild Kratts and Cat in the Hat are current favorites)
-dancing (espeically in the dark with the "bug light")
-singing songs/listening to music (still loves Mumford and Sons, church songs and his VBS cd)
-catching bugs, lizards, fish etc
-anything involving water (swimming, splash park, sprinklers, boating, bath time)
-building things (whether it be with his blocks, mud, rocks...anything you can stack...)
- "sports" (we spend some part of each day "playing" t-ball, soccer, hockey or basketball)
- having books read to him (favorites: his Bible, Curious George, Froggy, Platypus, Dr. Seuss)
-eating (he has a HUGE appetite lately - all I see is $$ in my future - and his current favorites are fresh or dried fruit, dessert (cookies, ice cream or candy), poached (aka boongie) eggs, meat of any kind, brocolli, peas, lima beans, corn & yogurt)



Unbearable Things:
-not being able to accomplish something new
-"loosing" to Joel (for example, Joel is ready for bed in his pjs before Levi)
-not getting to choose his own plate, cup, fork etc
-having to stop something when he is not finished
-being caught in the act and getting a punishment (usually loss of privilege or time out)

Observations About My Big Boy:
-Super Sensitive/Deep Thinking: Levi surprises me with his understanding of emotional things: for example, when we told him about the loss of his baby brother his immediate response was to squeeze shut his eyes, tightly fold his hands and pray, "Dear God, please put another baby in Momma's tummy." and when he opened his eyes, they filled with tears and he looked right at me and asked in a pained voice, "why did God do that to my baby?!" followed by lots of throwing things around and crying until we could calm him down and explain that God was sad too and he sometimes lets sad things happen for reasons we don't understand, but that God loves us very much. (thinking about this moment still brings tears to my eyes) Another example from about 6 weeks ago, Philip mentioned to Levi that one day we hope he will be a big man and have a house and a family of his own. About an hour after going to bed Levi comes out of his room crying saying, "I don't want to live any where else! I want to live with Momma and Daddy and Joel even when I'm a big man! My wife and baby can live with us too! I'm going to live here forever!" Philip and I ended up both laying in bed with him reassuring him that as long as he wanted to he could live with us (we are hoping that he will be like most young adults and be begging us to live on his own...)

-Very Silly: Levi is so much like his Daddy. He loves to laugh and make jokes/trick people (or Penny). He often tries to derail a tense discussion with a goofy snort or silly expression. (which can be pretty infuriating) He can turn anything into a joke (and sometimes they are actually funny) and he loves to tickle and be tickled. I'm a little nervous we may have a class clown one day...if his shy side doesn't take over.

 
-A Pleaser: Levi really wants everyone to like him and does not like to be in trouble or be ignored/rejected. He has a hard time keeping himself from doing things he knows he's not supposed to if they seem like fun at the time (ex: eating 6 cookies before dinner while hiding in the laundry room) but to put it in his words (which we hear often lately) he really "wants to be good" and is "going to be good" in the future. He does not like to face the consequences of his mistakes, and is almost always immediately and profusely apologetic when he is caught in the wrong.

-Energetic: Although Levi does love a good movie or TV show he is rarely ever still. He may sit still for about 15-30 minutes max, but is usually all over the couch and living room while the show is on. He LOVES to run and make his bike and scooter go as fast as possible. He seems to have boundless energy and very rarely initiates breaks from physical activities such as swimming or sports.He will be red in the face, dripping in sweat with his hair plastered to his face as well as a huge grin. It's almost like he could just go on for hours and hours.

-Smart: Levi is a brilliant little guy, and although he doesn't always feel like slowing down enough for others to notice, his Daddy and I sure are proud! He knows all his letters, can count to 20 and can identify 1-10 as well. He has a large vocabulary for his age, and is very imaginative. He can write his name and many other letters (other than L, E, V and I), but doesn't really like to take the time to write carefully very often. He likes to think about the way things work and ask questions about anything he doesn't understand. He is very curious, which to me equals smart :)

-Daredevil: Levi loves to push himself to his physical limits. He has little fear of getting hurt, and will try almost anything (especially if his Daddy is with him). Climbing is a favorite activity and he can usually get to the top of most playground equipment in seconds. He likes to swing high, run/ride fast and far and jump off of anything he can get onto. He has become quite the little diver and can dive straight and deep very well. Although I can relate fairly well to this side of my boy, it makes me pretty nervous too, and lends to lots of rules and unwanted detailed discussions when we are at the pool or playground.

-Loyal/Loving: Levi adores his family (especially his Joel) and has a strong attachment to his friends as well. He talks about all of his family very often, even those who live far away. He is happiest when he is playing with his family or friends. Even when one of his friends says or does something that hurts his feelings he is pretty quick to forgive them and ask if he can play with them again. Joel is his best friend and even though they can fight like animals, he would bend over backwards to help Joel or make him happy. If they are for some reason separated for even just an hour he will ask about Joel and want to be with him. It makes my heart so happy to see how he loves his brother and all of his family. He will often come up to Philip, Joel or I an give us random and enthusiastic hugs and kisses. I also melt at his random proclamations of love which I receive fairly often :).


We sure are lucky to have this little guy in our lives! He is such a special person and I am overwhelmed with thankfulness that he is my son. Yes, he makes me clinch my fists, grit my teeth and take deep breaths on a regular basis, but he also makes my heart swell, eyes fill with tears of joy, stomach cramp from laughing and cheeks hurt from smiling. Every child is a precious gift and my Levi just happens to be one of the most precious gifts of all. Thank you Lord for 4 wonderful years, please help us through many, many, many more!