Here is another update on Carol. Since I'm in the medical field, I don't know how to say all this in a less graphic way, so please bear with me, or don't read. She is doing worse. She is now bleeding from her nose, mouth, a few sores on her skin and stomach. Her DIC is not better. Her sepsis is "a little better." She has not put out any urine in days. Her kidneys are not functioning. Her liver is still failing. She is severely swollen. She is bald. Her fingers are purple. She has a tennis ball sized hematoma in her neck where the central line was placed. They are consulting all kinds of specialists: nephrology, gastroenterology, a cardiovascular surgeon, etc. Philip said it is one of the most disturbing and upsetting things he has ever seen.

They actually did not have her in the ICU. They had her in the ICU step down unit because there were not enough beds in the ICU. They just finished transferring her to the ICU and we are very hopeful that this will improve the quality of care she is receiving. The staff is continuing to be unfriendly, but they are communicating with the family more, although the family feels the staff is only doing so because they feel cornered by their constant presence. This is INFURIATING me. I am really trying not to hate those people. I'm trying to remember that I'm not there and that I don't know what the staff is feeling or going through. I'm just so mad. HOW could you treat a sweet family whose mother is dying in such a terrible way?! I just want to scream!

I don't really know what to pray for, or what to ask for you all the pray for. I just keep praying over and over that His will be done (and quickly!) and that Carol, Philip, Tamara and Allen can all feel His love and presence around them. That they can have a peace about this. This is how I feel: "we do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express" Romans 8:26.

Thank you for reading. Writing all this down is some what therapeutic for me. We are all still in shock since it has only been 24 days since she was diagnosed with leukemia. I long to be there and to hug my husband. I know it's right for me to be home and give Levi a stress free environment, but I am aching that I'm not at Philip's side. He is being so strong, but I know he is so wounded on the inside.