Last night, after my shift at work, I decided to take a sneak peak of our baby with the sonogram machine. Almost as soon as I put the transducer on my belly I knew something was wrong. I searched and looked closely, but couldn't find a heart beat. My baby was totally still when previously I'd seen lots of movement. I asked a friend of mine to come and look, and she couldn't find one either. She called my midwife and she confirmed our fears. The baby has died. My sweet, perfect baby was no more. I'm still in shock because I had seen my baby twice with a perfect heart beat, and even kicking legs and arms a couple of weeks ago. At 12 weeks you feel you are out of the danger zone.
I know I will be ok. Unfortunately, many women go through this, and some of my best friends have had miscarriages recently, and are already giving me great support. But I'm just so so sad. I've cried and cried and can hardly stop thinking about my loss.
Our friends and family are praying for me and offering support and help. I know God is sad with me, and will be right with Philip and I through out this trial. He will give me strength and comfort.
Philip will be going with me on Monday morning for a follow up appointment. Please be praying for us to make the best decisions about how to go forward. So far I have no symptoms and feel fine other than fatigue and overwhelming sadness. Monday is going to be a very hard, hard day. Thank you to everyone who's been praying already.
3 comments:
Oh my sweet, sweet sister. I am so sorry and my heart is very heavy for you and Philip. I hope you guys will take all the time you need to feel sad and mourn the loss of your precious baby. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I know you know I am here if you need me. I am praying for you and trusting that one day I will get to meet my beautiful niece or nephew in heaven. Until then, I am mourning this loss with you. I love you.
Prayers are going out to you and Philip. Everyone at Legacy loves your family, and are praying constantly.
My heart hurts for you, sweet friend. We are sending prayers and love your way.
xo
Post a Comment